“Zayn’s leaving today evening” I quietly whispered with shaking voice to Harry. He sat on the bed next to me and stroked my hair.
“I’m so sorry blondie” he kissed my cheek and smiled at me sadly. “You know, sometimes you have to face what’s given to you. Maybe you met him for a reason, maybe it was supposed to show you that love exists, that not everybody are heartless. There are people who care for you, people who want to see you smile, catch your tears. People like Zayn” he said, his voice ever so softly.
“but there’s no one like Zayn out there, he’s so special. I won’t find anyone like him ever again” i burried my face in the pillow and let the tears fall.
“Oh Nialler.. i was just trying to tell you that there are people love you as much as you deserve. I know that Zayn is one in a million but.. you need to let go”
“i don’t want to” i sobbed and Harry helpless jump on the bed next to me and took me in a tight embrace so i could cry my eyes out in his arms. He took my hands in his and stroke them. I didn’t even realized that i was still holding Zayn’s wish list, it was creased and some of the words were blurred because of my tears.
“What’s that?” Harry took it out from my hand and read it. “Did you do all of those points?” he looked at me curiously waving with the piece of paper in front of my face.
“Nope..” i mumbled under my breath and looked at the blue wall of my room. “Why? You still have time! I’m sure he hasn’t left yet!” Harry shook me trying to get me off of the bed.
“I.. I can’t” i said numbly
“Why? Niall, he deserves to know! Do you love him?”
“I don’t” i almost whispered. I couldn’t believe i said that but i did it wanting Harry just to shut up. I didn’t want to see Zayn, i didn’t want to feel the pain anymore. Curly looked at me in disbelief.
“Don’t fucking lie to me Horan. I’m your best friend and i know when you’re talking shit. You can’t be such a coward Niall! I know you love him and i know it hurts but I’m sure that you’d rather see Zayn leaving with a smile than when he’s heartbroken beacuse you didn’t admit that you truly love him, so get up from the fucking bed and tell him that you loves him or I’ll never talk to you again, you hear me?!” he almost screamed at me. I’ve never seen him more.. furious.
“You’re such a pain in the ass Styles!” i yelled back and jump of the bed trying to dress myself up in the quickest possible time.
I’ve never run so fast. I couldn’t catch my breath, my throat was burning i could feel my legs giving up on me but somehow i was finding the strenght to keep going. Zayn’s was my strenght, i couldn’t let him go with telling him that i love him, that i love his eyes and voice, i love the way he touches me. He just needs to know that my life won’t be the same ever again without him.
He changed it all. I look up the sky and see not just stars but the sky full of wishes, bright points who keep my secrets, i see the sun which not just burn my skin but make my happy, keep me warm. I see my cat and not just think that it’s some fluffy monster who eats everything what’s move. Things changed.
You see everything in a different way when you are in love.
I stopped running and looked at his house. He was there, sitting alone on the stairs crying. He was sobbing violently but something was different.
“Zayn!” I yelled at him and crashed our lips. In a warm kiss, in a different kiss. “Zayn.. You need to know, you need to know how much i love you. How much i hate the idea of you leaving me. Everyone tells me to let you go but i just can’t” he was trying to say something but i didn’t let him and continued.
“I think about you everyday and everytime i see you i love you even more. I’ve never felt so good and i know that i will never find anyone who will be able to give me as much happines as you did.If there was anything i could do to stop you from leaving then i would do it in a blink of an eye”
“I’m not leaving Niall” he whispered and kissed me again. It was strong, powerfull, lustful.I needed more and more. “I’m not leaving” he said again with tears in his beautiful eyes.